Calling ~ PARANOIA PARADOX

ca230679d174a3fd627936b9a69b2b0a

Requested by lotushime

Notes

The first stanza written on the official website is “内緒にしていた 一人の楽園 / 軽く触れることすら誰もできない”. The lyrics I wrote are those I hear, but, of course, they can be completely wrong –but I believe makes more sense than the lyrics written on the official website. If you hear something different/have other ideas, please say it so that I can correct those lyrics!

Title: Calling
Vocals: aeri
Lyrics: 桜ふみ (Fumi Sakura)
Arrangement: いたちま (itachima)
Circle: PARANOIA PARADOX
Album: Re:surrection
Event: C85
Original: Bad Apple!! | Touhou 4 Lotus Land Story | Stage 3 Theme

Calling

内緒にしていた 一人の楽園
崩すことも忘れることもできない

naisho ni shiteita hitori no rakuen
kuzuru koto mo wasureru koto mo dekinai

I’ve kept it a secret, this paradise
I’m not able to neither destroy or forget

今までずっと隠してきたから
そろそろ君に見せてもいいと思った

ima made zutto kakushitekita kara
sorosoro kimi ni misete mo ii to omotta

Since up until now I’ve always hidden it
I thought it would be fine showing it to you slowly

崩れ落ちそうな最後の気持ちを
我慢しながら君は隣に座る

kuzureochisou na saigo no kimochi wo
gaman shi nagara kimi wa tonari ni suwaru

My last feelings seem about to collapse
I keep up my self-control when you sit next to me

気にしないで
現実と夢の合間にいると思えばいいのに
好きなように生きたいと願う
それは当たり前と思わないなら

kinishinaide
genjitsu to yume no aima ni iru to omoeba ii no ni
sukina youni ikitai to negau
sore wa atarimae to omowanai nara

Don’t worry
If I think about the gap between dreams and reality, I’m fine
Wishing to live as I want to
As long as I don’t think that’s natural…

いつかみた甘い夢ばかり
ちらついたまま離れてくれない
ありのまま映す鏡さえ
辛すぎてもう見えないの

itsuka mita amai yume bakari
chiratsuita mama hanaretekurenai
ari no mama utsusu kagami sae
tsurai sugite mou mienai no

One day, only my sweet dreams
Will be dazzling and you won’t leave
Yet the truth reflected on the mirror
Is too painful to be seen

いつまでもまどろんでたいの
しがみつく記憶に痺れたまま
過去の傷疼き続けても
自分に嘘はつけないの

itsumademo madorondetai no
shigamitsuku kioku ni shibireta mama
kako no kizu uzukitsudzukete mo
jibun ni uso wa tsukenai no

I’ve always wanted to doze off
To fall asleep within the memories I cling at
My past wounds keep hurting
I can’t lie to myself

溢れる理性押さえつけられず
何か言いたそうな目で私を見てる

afureru risei osaetsukerarezu
nanika iitasou na me de watashi wo miteru

I can’t repress an overflowing reason
You look at me as if you want to add something

あきれ顔で溜息つくなら
無理やりつきあわなくていいよ
もう慣れっこの燻った感情
自覚できてないエゴの裏返し

akiregao de tameiki tsukunara
muriyari tsukiawanakute ii yo
mou narekko no kusubutta kanjou
jikaku dekitenai ego no uragaeshi

When I sigh, you look astonished
It’s fine, don’t force yourself
I’m already used to hide my feelings
You can’t realize it’s not egoistic

わからない わかるはずもない
思うまま夢を求め続けて
少しだけ振り返ることも
私にはもうできないの

wakaranai wakaru hazu mo nai
omou mama yume wo motometsudzukete
sukoshi dake furikaeru koto mo
watashi ni wa mou dekinai no

I don’t understand, I can’t understand
For myself, I’ll keep wishing for that dream
Even thinking about it only a little is
Something I can’t do anymore

笑いたい 我儘でいたい
欲張りなほど満たされていたい
進むだけ 迷うことはない
後戻りなどできないの

waraitai wagamama de itai
yokubari na hodo mitasarete itai
susumu dake mayou koto wa nai
atomodori nado dekinai no

I want to smile, I want to be selfish
I want to satisfy my own avarice
And I go on, without losing my way
I can’t go back anymore

間違いに気づくこともなく
ひたすらに、ただ自由に生きたい
願うまま欲しいものだけを
追いかける世界にいたい

machigai ni kidzuku koto mo naku
hitasura ni, tada jiyuu ni ikitai
negau mama hoshii mono dake wo
oikakeru sekai ni itai

Without even realize my own mistakes
I’m determined, I want to live freely
And I pray, I want to live in a world where
I chase what I wish for

立ち止まることなどいらない
わかるでしょ?人生は一度きり
かきまわすジレンマの渦は
私から 消えて

tachidomaru koto nado iranai
wakaru desho? jinsei wa ichidokiri
kakimawasu jirenma no uzu wa
watashi kara kiete

To stop, is something I won’t do
Do you understand? You live only once
This disturbed dilemma is now
Disappearing from me

わからない わかるはずもない
思うまま夢を求め続けて
少しだけ振り返ることも
私にはもうできないの

wakaranai wakaru hazu mo nai
omou mama yume wo motometsudzukete
sukoshi dake furikaeru koto mo
watashi ni wa mou dekinai no

I don’t understand, I can’t understand
For myself, I’ll keep wishing for that dream
Even thinking about it only a little is
Something I can’t do anymore

いつかみた甘い夢ばかり
ちらついたまま離れてくれない
ありのまま映す鏡など
私には もういらないの

itsuka mita amai yume bakari
chiratsuita mama hanaretekurenai
ari no mama utsusu kagami nado
watashi ni wa mou iranai no

One day, only my sweet dreams
Will be dazzling and you won’t leave
Yet the truth reflected on the mirror
Doesn’t belong to me anymore

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~ by Jaefine on November 12, 2014.

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