Mirror of Paranoia

Screams equal to unchecked romaji. Once again, many thanks to Keyman who provided me Belial’s scans back in 2013~

Requested by Cristóbal

Title: REGULATED SUICIDE DOGMA
Vocal: しるへい (Shirohei)
Lyrics: しるへい
Arrangement: しるへい
Circle: SILENT DIFFERENCE
Album: BELIAL
Event: C82
Original: 感情の摩天楼 ～ Cosmic Mind | Emotional Skyscraper ~ Cosmic Mind | Touhou 12 Undefined Fantastic Object | Hijiri Byakuren’s Theme

REGULATED SUICIDE DOGMA

I want to kill myself.
My future broke down.
I want to kill myself.
My future broke down.

迷走　落ちゆく体温　噴出す後悔　行き場の無い愛
蹂躙　春に奪われ　崩れた約束　無意味な指輪

meisou ochiyuku taion fukidasu koukai yukiba no nai ai
juurin haru ni ubaware kuzureta yakusoku muimi na yubiwa

Straying. The temperature dropping. Gushing regrets. A love without destination.
Violation. Stolen in spring. Crumbling promises. Meaningless rings.

All after this is meaningless because I was forsaken by you.
All after this is meaningless if you do not love me again.

手のひらからすり抜けるただ一人の理解者
打ち鳴らす過去に否定の亀裂
全て元に戻せるなら何もいらない
ただ傍にいれるだけで俺の意義が

te no hira kara surinukeru tada hitori no rikai mono
uchinarasu kako ni hitei no kiretsu
subete moto ni modoseru nara nanimo iranai
tada soba ni ireru dakede boku no igi da

Slipping through my palm, the only person I’ve understood
Ringing in the past the crack of denial
If all could reset, I wouldn’t need anything else
Being next to you would be my reason

震える手で飲む明日への錠剤
浴槽に浸す死んだ思い出
希望失い眠れぬ暁
薄汚れた残酷な答え

furueru te de nomu ashita e no jouzai
yokusou ni hitasu shinda omoide
kibou ushinai nemurenu akatsuki
usuyogoreta zankoku na kotae

With my trembling hands, I drink the pills for tomorrow
Soaking in the bathtub, my dead memories
I’ve lost hope in this sleepless dawn
Dirtied by your cruel answer

揺らめく想い　肌に突き刺さる風と
静かな月夜さえも君を連れ去った

yurameku omoi hada ni tsukisasaru kaze to
shizuka na tsukiyo saemo kimi wo tsuresatta

Flickering thoughts thrust into my skin with the wind
In the quiet moonlit night I’ve taken you away

苦しみに耐えるこの身を
誰も支えてくれず
いないものとされ散り逝くのなら
I wanna closing myself.

kurushimi ni taeru kono mi wo
daremo tsukaetekurezu
inai mono tosare chiru yuku no nara
I wanna closing myself.

Bearing the pain with this body
Nobody will ever support
As if what there isn’t is scattering
I wanna closing myself.

君の優しい笑顔さえ
もう二度と見たくはないさ
気が狂いそうなほど幸いから
I will die in my hate.

kimi no yasashii egao sae
mou nidoto mitaku wa nai sa
ki ga kuruisou na hodo saiwai kara
I will die in my hate.

I will never see
Your tender smile again
It’s a bless that will make me mad
I will die in my hate.

生きてゆく意味も理由も全て失った
この目に映る君の手を握り笑う全てが憎い

ikiteyuku imi mo riyuu mo subete ushinatta
kono me ni utsuru kimi no te wo nigiri warau subete ga nikui

I’ve lost my meaning, reason, everything to live
Reflected in these eyes you laughing as I grasp your hand. I hate everything

あの日々を忘れられるほど
俺は強くないから
地に落ちる涙は止むことはない
I wanna closing myself.

ano hibi wo wasurerareru hodo
boku wa tsuyoku nai kara
tsuchi ni ochiru namida wa yamu koto wa nai
I wanna closing myself.

I’m not so strong to forget
All those days
My tears won’t stop, falling on the ground
I wanna closing myself.

君の優しい笑顔さえ
もう二度と見たくはないさ
気が止まりそうなほど幸いから

kimi no yasashii egao sae
mou nidoto mitaku wa nai sa
ki ga kuruisou na hodo saiwai kara

I will never see
Your tender smile again
It’s a bless that will make me mad

君の新しい世界の裏で
俺は身を投げ出し明日を背に消える

kimi no atarashii seikai no ura de
boku wa mi wo nageru dashi ashita wo sei ni kieru

At the bottom of your new world
I throw myself in, as tomorrow vanishes at my back

君に捨てられた無力なこの命は
果てなき　空へ

kimi ni suterareta muryoku na kono inochi wa
hatenaki sora e

Abandoned by you, this helpless life
Into the endless sky